Spent last winter playing in the sand With the prisoners of the motherland Damn hotel is feeling like a cell
And even paradise can be so cruel Sitting by the swimming pool Trying to keep my head together In that hot Australia weather
Three days to kill and my per diem's getting low 'Cause I spent all my money calling long distance Calling long distance, such a long way from home
Am I talking to long distance, can you put me through? Twelve thousand miles but I've got not resistance, long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance
Now the Road Hog's face is turning red Larry's still asleep in bed Romeo he can't get no head at all And the Doctor looks on so annoyed You disappoint me, Mr. Boyd And the Electric Dwarf wishes he was six foot tall
Now Romeo's patience is wearing thin C'mon baby, let me in It's five a.m. and I've been creeping 'round the hall Got no resistance calling long distance You sound so close but your such a long way from home
Am I talking to long distance, can you put me through? Twelve thousand miles but I've got not resistance, long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance
Still no points for my merrymen, Except Ricard, he just scored ten Now Road Hog's getting drunk again And I only get to hold my pen Instead of what I love to hold the most.
I feel so lonesome I could cry Count the hours as they roll by It's day time now I think I'll make a call
Hello long distance, calling long distance You sound so close but you're such a long way from home You're such a long way from home
Have to admit I got no resistance to the red light on the wall The message said I got a call, long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance
