CHORUS: U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly, eh eh, you ugly (x4)
I saw you walking down the street just the other day I didn't see your damage that far away I should have got a clue when the kids started screaming when they saw you You walked up to me with your buckteeth a-gleaming Your hair is frizzy, and your face is a mess I thought that was a sack, but it's your favorite dress You hurt the trees' feelings and the birds all flew I don't mean to insult you- oh wait, yes I do! Your teeth are yellow, they're covered with mold You're only fourteen, you look a hundred years old When looks were handed out, you were last in line Your face looks like where the sun don't shine Did you fall off a building and land on your head? Or did a truck run over your face instead? There ain't no pill, cuz you ain't ill, you're ugly!
Chorus (x2)
What really need is to wear a mask And book that plastic surgeon fast Girl, you're scary, you're hairy, I heard about you You're the main attraction at the City Zoo You're so fat and ugly with a belly full of flab When you wear a yellow coat people shout out, CAB! (you're so funny...I know!) You got eyes like a pig, your nose is big And with hair like that you should be wearing a wig Uncle Fester remember him? I never knew that you had a twin! You can't disguise yo googly eyes And in a Miss Ugly Pageant, you'd win first prize!
