I was sitting in a diner With a girl named Flo She wouldn't say yes But she couldn't say no She said Darling, Can I get a middle man? She was engaged to a fellow On the lay a way plan But she carried all her money In a coffee can She said Darling, Can I get a middle man? The cook looked over With a short order face Dropped a fork And he saw Flo's legs Straightened his apron And burnt my eggs I got competition Everywhere I go These days
She was leaning on the juke box And was lookin' real good Like Natalie Wood On a Pontiac hood I said Darling, I think I need a little hand Ya see, I've seen my downs I've seen my ups I seen miniature dogs In coffee cups But Darling I ain't never seen a middle man
Flo talked slow Like real wet paint She said A middle man's there When the other ones ain't He's got a left handed manner That leans to the right Sleeps all day And keeps it up all night ... ... I got an aunt in Ohio And a boat that won't row Some veterans insurance And nowhere to go Darling, Can I be your middle man?
(spoken) If I could get the money in that coffee can I could open me up a lemonade stand Send all the kids off to Pakistan Make Flo happy If I can
Jerry Mahoney and Johnny B. Goode Are gonna buy me a house in Hollywood Darling I think I got the perfect plan We're gonna save half a dollars And sell 'em to France Buy us a record And learn how to dance And Darling I'll always be your middle Darling Go buy a griddle Darling I wanna be your middle man
